Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Happy Halloween!

Oh man, this is pure gold. From Animage Magazine.

Mark. 1, Part 2!

Huh? Are you people still here? Very well, come and view yet another post from this grotesque menagerie of a blog. Here are yet more scans from the Japanese magazine Mark 1.

Fan art time! Sure a lot of the drawings have awful anatomy and many are vaguely pedophilic, but at least there's no Naruto.

Gotta hand it to the old fans though. I mean sure, they had moe-type stuff then too. But at least the girls were also heavily armed.

Yeah, because nothing goes with fan art of Nazis like someone's "original spaceship do not steal plz".


And now, a pop idol group that I'm fairly certain nobody cares about now, and that probably even fewer people cared about when they first premiered.

Cheerleader! So-And-So! What's-her-face! The Ugly One!
Edit: Sources inform me that this idol group is known as Saint Four. Here's one of their songs. I apologize for the eye-meltingly awful dancing.

What magazine marketed towards emotionally stunted man-children would be complete without TOYS!

Yeah, God Mazinger is totally checking out that car shaped like Dracula's head that also transforms into a robot. I would totally tool around town in that.

Well that's it for Mark 1 magazine, folks! Coming up next, an issue Animage Magazine from 1985!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Mark 1, Part 1.

We're taking a break from our not-so-regularly-scheduled programing of kaiju schlock to bring you this periodical created by Asian man-children. Plucked from the cavernous Mandarake Shibuya comes a little magazine from 1985 called Mark 1. As soon as I saw the cover I fell in love with it. What's not to love? Just at the cover you got a costumed sentai hero, a forgettable bubbly pop idol, and a sidebar with videogames, Urusei Yatsura, a robot monkey, and rubber sushi. Unfortunately I couldn't find any info in English about Mark 1, so I have no idea how long it lasted, all I know is that this is Vol.2 and was published October, 1985.
The content is a dream for old school anime fans and japanophiles. Mark 1 jumps between covering model kits, TV shows, movies, anime, toys, video games, and sentai/tokusatsu shows. There's even an interview with the legendary Shotaro Ishinomori, but I speak about as much Japanese as a house cat, so yeah... no translation for you. Please to enjoy part one of my scans from Mark 1.

The table of contents! Woo!

Ad for popular porn anime series, Cream Lemon. Sure it's cheap and tawdry, but a lot of great animators actually got their start peddling this smut.

Lets see, the Joyball looks like a rejected Nerf toy, and what the hell kinda name is "Family King" for a controller? Of course the ASCII controller looks top of the line, but do you really need top of the line controllers when it's just two buttons?

Generic manga mech pilot squad, GO!

WOOSH! Pyew pyew!

JESUS CHRIST! What the hell is with your feet? Do flipper babies make good mech pilots or is this some kinda moe thing?

I have no idea what these things are called, but for the hell of it, Imma call them Transforming Robo-Animal Fuckbuddies. Because they all look kinda phalic to me.

Get out of there, Japanese man in a circle. You're not supposed to be there. You're not even a Rumiko Takahashi character.

One of these doesn't belong. That's right, you wheel your ass out of there, Super Gaijin WHORE!

You with the microphone! If your outfit clashes anymore, you'll probably explode in a fountain of gore and shoulder pads.

Best episode of Fist of the North Star EVER.

If you don't know who the fella with the antennae is, then you cretins are reading the wrong Akira Toriyama manga.

DUDE! When you said you wanted one of my Zoids for a photo shoot, you never said anything about LIGHTING IT ON FIRE!

Do you have any idea how many garbage bags it took for me to make this Hakaider costume?

That's it for part one. Part two coming when I damn well feel like it.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Godzilla Magazine Vol.4

What's that? You want MORE pictures of monsters from an obscure Japanese magazine no one really cares about? SURE! Volume 4 of Godzilla is actually filled mostly with pictures from the Toho movie Yamato Takeru, which was basically Japan's creation myth reinterpreted as an overgrown episode of Power Rangers. I didn't include many of these pics, because Yamato Takeru is a pretty bad movie. Enjoy.

Godzilla, Mecha Godzilla, and a bunch of giant humans hit a bucket full of rice glutten with hammers to celebrate the new year... really.

Cooking with Godzilla and Miss Namikawa from Invasion of the Astro Monster
Incase you're wondering, that's the 8 headed dragon Orochi in Godzilla's mouth in the last panel. Also, Godzilla gets mad because he can't hold a knife... even though he has claws that could cut steel.

Godzilla Vs. Giant Kitty

I find the pic of Baragon and Moguera digging their way up oddly prophetic. Moguera (a mole themed robot from the 1957 movie The Mysterians) returned as a good guy in Godzilla Vs. Space Godzilla (1994). Baragon (first appearance in Frankenstein Conquers the World, 1965) returned in Godzilla, Mothra King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All Out Attack(2001). Meanwhile, the Chrysler Bulding-fisted Megalon remained burried in obscurity.

Wires: the real reason Biollante never appeared in another movie.

Screw you guys, Imma go read Gabara Magazine.

Pay tribute to the rich history and culture of glorious Nippon! BUY MORE TOYS!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Godzilla Magazine (Vol.1)

Beginning it's run in 1992, and continuing intermittently through the Millennium series of films, Godzilla Magazine is quite the departure from it's more zine-ish US counterpart, G-Fan. Godzilla Magazine was used primarily to advertise the Heisei Godzilla movies, but also featured lots of great interviews, articles, and comics. On a recent trip to Tokyo I picked up a few issues and I scanned some highlights for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy, Godzilla Magazine Vol.1 (please forgive my horrible scanning abilities).

Godzilla Vs. The Hanshin Tigers

A comic that run in Godzilla magazine about Dr. Yamane, the villain from Godzilla Vs. The Sea Monster, the Photographer girl from Godzilla Vs. Mothra, and some reporter living with a cat that can grow huge as they figure out how to fight Godzilla. ...I think.Mothra Vs. Kumonga! Hedorah Vs. Matango! Grown men playing with toys!

Where are those Godzilla scenes today? ...if today was 1992.

Buy our toys! Buy our toys! BUY OUR TOYS!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


WELCOME TO THE PHANTOM LEECH! ..Still there? Good lord, how did you find this abysmal little pocket of the internet? This is my little place specially made to share with you all the assorted geekery and crap that I like. Comics, kaiju, cheap and tawdry movies, laserdiscs, manga, whatever happens to be going through the festering heap of dead technology that is my brain.
I am going to share my obsessions with you, just for the hell of it.